Invest In Loss

Albert Einstein famously said that “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again whilst expecting different results.” Do you recognise that behaviour in your co-workers, your staff, or (heaven forbid) your own boss? It seems so obviously a stupid way to behave, and yet we all do it. And we do it without realising. But why? My teacher Robert Earl Taylor says that it’s because we all “look in the Old Book for our answers,” instead of looking at the here and now, and the evidence before us.

The Lure Of The Old Book

We all like the Old Book. We all feel good about it, because it’s like going into an exam with all the answers we believe we need. It contains all the answers we’ve ever learned, and all the instructions that we’ve done well by. That includes all the times where we didn’t really know what we were doing, but we somehow got through it anyway. ((I suspect that these have a prominent place in the Old Book, at least for some people!))

The Old Book contains the sum of all our experience to date, and like any investment, we want to protect it for all that it’s worth. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t worth shit, and that you should protect it accordingly.

The Prison We Build For Ourselves

Take a moment to make a mental list of all of those things you know in your own heart that you’re not managing very well. If you’re having trouble forming a list, reflect on the idea that there’s no such thing as a bad worker, only a bad manager, and then give it another go. Encompass everything that isn’t going well amongst everyone who works under you, or under the people who work for you. ((It’s always worth asking your staff to create this list for you, and then comparing notes.))

It’s not a very pleasant list, is it? Following the instructions from the Old Book is how all of this came to be. You, me, everyone - we’re all doing it. We fall back on almost-automatic behaviours, which just means that we try to apply a solution from the Old Book to whatever it is that is demanding our attention. We’re particularly susceptible to doing this when we’re under pressure ((I deliberately choose the word ‘pressure’ instead of stress. Folks who are genuinely under stress - or distress to use the full word! - typically can’t function at all, and are in urgent need of a different type of assistance)) - what most people would call reverting to type.

The more we do it - the more we get stuck in our ways - the less real choice we make. This behaviour creates a prison as real as any physical gaol. It’s not just a prison for us. As managers, we’re busy ushering into our prison everyone and everything that we manage, and everyone that they manage too.

You Don’t Need That Safety Blanket

Examine the language used to describe your local organisational hierarchy. The chances are that it describes your subordinates as being below you, and your boss as being above you. The very language we use to define our relationships with our colleagues re-enforces the belief many of us hold deep down that we’ve become managers and leaders because we’re somehow better than the people below us ((The next time you find yourself thinking like this, just bear in mind that People are promoted to their level of incompetence!)).

It also creates a similar image in those we manage.

This belief creates a very real psychological need for us to live up to this mental image. We cling to the Old Book like a child clinging to a safety blanket, because the Old Book is how we got into this position. The more insecure we feel, the tighter the grip. The tighter the grip, the more we strangle ourselves and everyone and everything that we manage.

Letting go requires an act of courage.

You need to have the courage to live in the now. Suspend preconceptions. Reserve judgement. Observe what is actually there. Listen for the unspoken question. Be aware of your assumptions, and test them before relying on them. Perceive the possibilities open to you. Understand the depths. Stop seeing only the shallows.

This is one of those areas where you can’t change the outside unless you change the inside first. Changing yourself is hard, and it is scary. We confuse ourselves with the Old Book, and we protect the Old Book mistakenly believing that we protect ourselves. Find the courage to see yourself as distinct from the Old Book, and everything will follow from there.

There’s a wealth of resources to immerse yourself in; many different ways to reach the same goal. Studying the ancient philosophies such as Taoism ((Also spelt Daoism)) and Zen Buddhism ((Particularly shoshin - Beginner’s Mind)) might work for you. The writings of Eckhart Tolle might suit you if you prefer a contemporary writer in this area. If you need a more physical approach, activities that cultivate meditation - such as yoga and many of the martial arts - are worthy of your investigation.

However you tackle it, you cannot afford not to.

Footnotes

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